"In other words, you're going to play that stupid poker game again," he responded. I hung my head - he was right. I had to play it again. Otherwise, the GamersInfo.net kinetic kill satellite would be dropping a small asteroid on my house. While that would get me out of having to play it again, the cute neighbors and my actually rather cool landlord would probably not care for it too much. (Note to any DHS people actually reading this article: no, there are no plans to drop an asteroid on my house. At least, as far as I know.)

But, I mean - wow. What a boring game.

Obviously poker is very popular right now. I like poker. I'm not that great at it, but I am getting better. I once spent an entire flight from Long Beach to Dulles International Airport watching Celebrity Poker Challenge or whatever it's called on Bravo, thanks to the back of seat TVs on JetBlue. I play poker regularly at Origins, playing for zombies at the annual Twilight Creations party.

One thing I don't do is play for money - I don't gamble for money. In the case of "World Series of Poker: Tournament of Champions 2007 Edition" (can we abbreviate that?), that's a good thing, I guess, because you won't play for money in it. Me, I was playing for the hope that my eyes wouldn't start bleeding.

The big thing about WSoPToC2K7ed is that it has a number of big poker stars. If you're like me, odds are you won't have heard of any of these "stars" except maybe one or two - well, other than Jennifer Tilly, who didn't look a lot like Jennifer Tilly from the movies I've seen her in, and I perhaps lucked out because she didn't say anything when she was at my table. (No, I don't watch her movies for her dialogue.)

The single player game basically revolves around career mode. You start your career and you can generate up a character. There's a lot of customization available there, or you can even use your Xbox Live Camera doohickey and make it look like you (I guess it'll look like you; I don't have one). Me, I made mine look like Hunter S. Thompson swathed in blue. But that's just me.

You start off career mode playing with your friends in their basement and surprise, surprise, your dealer is Chris "Jesus" Ferguson! "Who?" you may ask. It's the guy who does the very slow loading video clips of how to play poker, available in this here very game!

(Me, I kept thinking of John Turturro in The Big Lebowski but that's just me.)

The funny thing is, no one knows why he's dealing for the pack of you guys. He mentions something about a lost bet and a bean burrito and something else, but I was busy wondering how he got into some random guy's basement.

Did he just walk in?

Come through a window?

Was his bet for this specific poker party, or did he randomly sneak into basements until he found one?

The world may never know.

He claims the one of you with the best promise he'll sponsor in the World Series of Poker, and since it's a single player game, you can guess it won't be your friends. In fact, it doesn't even matter if you win or lose (unlike a different game I played, where I had to do the first part a couple of times to actually beat the celebrity in it). You go on.

From there, you play in tournaments, or whatever, but it all comes down to the same thing: awkwardly animated, poorly voiced avatars in a quiet room, playing mediocre poker.

Each character - including the voice you picked out for yourself - has a grand total of about 2-3 lines that they'll repeat. It grates especially badly with the announcers, who only somewhat seem to be watching the same game you are. (And don't get me going on the horribly bad jokes of the "color" commentator - the only color I wanted out of him was crimson, and you can probably guess why.)

Then there's the crowd noise. It's hushed, it's quiet, it's - okay, come on now, who keeps on sneezing?!?! I mean, seriously. Buy your opponents some Sudafed or something.

The animations don't really link up with what you're doing - you might bet $10, but you'll push in a pile of chips. (Are we playing with dimes?) And you'll want to make sure that you turn on the ability to skip CPU betting, or the game...will...just...crawl...along, especially when you fold.

I do like the fact that there's the ability to get ole "Jesus" to give you some advice on what to do on the initial pair of cards you're dealt, but I do wish you could do that with more hands. That might've taxed the game too much - the load times are already stupendously slow as they are.

You can also play online. That's probably where the real competition is, if you're into that. You can set up a bunch of different games. Personally, I consider poker a game I like to play with friends who I know aren't (or, perhaps, that I know are) crackheads, and usually like to play while having a couple of adult beverages, and maybe a cigar, so I've avoided it for the most part.

If you're not a huge poker fan, honestly, this game probably isn't for you. There are other poker games out there, including ones that will probably work from the original Xbox, and be cheaper at that. Or heck - there's a Texas Hold 'Em game on Xbox Live arcade. And it's cheaper, too.

Me, I'm going to hold off on anymore online poker games. Once you start integrating the cameras into them, I just know I'm going to end up getting an eyeful from someone who has gotten it confused with strip poker...