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I never expected to enjoy Brooktown High. I know I shouldn't go into a game with preconceived notions; I do try to keep an open mind. But, I'd seen the game at E3; I'd seen the *cough* cheerleaders and nerd at the Konami Gamer Day promoting the game. A dating simulation. Didn't someone already make that?

Brooktown High is rated T, and that is firmly where it belongs - in the hands of teens. I'm much too old for the ridiculous games of teenagers. I prefer the ridiculous games of adults. In the hands of my 10-year-old son, he mostly gets it. He enjoys the idea of the game, even if he doesn't always understand the nuance of the uh ... point.

So, yeah, the point.

You are the new kid at Brooktown High, recently moved from Ohio. You'll be reminding people of this regularly, or not. It depends upon whether you play a male or a female. As a female, you get away with being much more direct with the guys; a male can't correct a girl, tell her the truth or come close to normal conversation without her freaking out. I so hope I wasn't like this in high school! Then again, I don't remember having friends named Biscuit, Misty, Elektra or Chaos. I think we had a Mandy?

As the new kid, you've got to first tell the game who you are. Male or female? (Or male playing female, because apparently there are a lot of guys rushing out to buy dating simulations.) And then come a series of questions: Are the guys/gals checking you out because of your a.) matching outfit, b.) cool gadgets or c.) hot bod? There's an entire series of questions along these lines that include what type of parents you have, your allowance back home in Ohio, how you treat your previous girlfriend/boyfriend that all to come down to your starting stats.

That's right; you have stats that determine just how good you are at dating. I mean, if you're a total nerd, do you think someone like Biscuit - a total hottie who wears her bikini top to school each day - is going to want to talk to you? And so what if you're a girl of great charm and originality - if you don't have the bod, then Brett (Or is it Brent? They hate it when you confuse them.) isn't going to want to have anything to do with you.

Uh, yeah ... you've got your stats. Now, your look: You get a name, posture (think attitude- sexy, confident, etc.), look (bored, shy, angry), eye color, hair color (I like blue!), hair style, skin color, height, weight ... and off you go. Either your stats or your attitude or a combination of both will determine the clothing available to you in your closet. All clothes are available to everyone to buy, but your starting style (the free stuff!) is determined by who you "say" you are.

Good morning! It's time for school! GET UP! Gotta love those buzzing alarm clocks. Head over to the computer; check the job board and clubs. Decide if you'll take a job because you need extra money for such things as clothes, tuition for college, clothes, gifts for dates, clothes, school dances and oh ... clothes. Clubs are fantastic at raising your grades in class, which raise your stats, which raise your "cool" factor with certain members of the opposite sex. You'll have to figure out which members by talking to them. Talking to them is really the meat and potatoes of the game.

You've checked the computer (maybe changed the music for the day), gotten dressed and off to school you run. Once you arrive, the students will be loitering outside and in the hallways. You've got until 8:30 a.m. to talk to as many as you can. You'll pick up Tidbits about people, Digits (phone numbers) and be asked to do favors. All the while, you'll be working on your relationships - your Rel. The entire point of this is to get a date.

Each interaction with a person will result in three options for response. Don't think you know what the response means or how the person will react - that's all part of the game. Your options may say a.) Pay Compliment, b.) Act Confused or c.) Dis Her. (My son won't Dis a girl no matter what; I'm so proud he has manners!) The thing is, the compliment could be calling the demure girl, "the sweetest piece of candy you've seen" while standing near the vending machines. Yeah. Not going to fly so well. When I was a female, to my chagrin, the guy I ended up dating the entire time was a jock who loved his car so much he gave it a name, wouldn't talk for me for a week if I ever said I'd drive it, but would fawn all over me any time I'd verbally abuse him.

Before 8:30 a.m. hits, you've got to be in class. Pick one: French, Art, Physics or PhysEd. You're going to spend the entire week there. Hoo boy. But, when you leave, you'll have increased your grade and received an increase to the attendant skill. Physics = Smarts, PhysEd = Athletics, French = Charm, and Art = Originality. On Friday, if you have a job or have joined a club, you'll spend your evening there. Otherwise, you'll be back in your room, dialing friends on your PDA.

Saturday is the day for doing ... stuff. As the game progresses, you'll unlock mini-games. To be honest: Without the mini-games, it would quickly devolve into a series of weekly chat fests and not much else. But these do much to break up the boredom, and they raise your stats along the way. And, raising your stats means more dates! And more dates means MUCH more to do on the weekends. And the point of the game? Dating!

There are three mini-games (I like kissing best!): 21 Knickers, also known as strip 21; Boogietron 5000, it's DDR for your fingers; and Tongue Twister, a "kissing" game where the goal to catch as many lips while spraying away the stinky breath, all the while avoiding distractions like the TV, cell phone and kissing your teacher. Each is not only silly and fun and boosts your stats, but will also help when you have to perform same said action on a date. Yes, boys and girls, you may have to dance at the Winter Formal. And if you bring your steady guy of all year home, you just may play 21 Knickers in your room (OK, I never did that in high school).

Dating! I've forgotten dating. You can randomly ask someone to date you. Go ahead, try it! Strangers love when you ask them out ... uh-huh. Or, you can work on relationships, get the guy/gal to like you a bit and then head out to the mall/park/beach/any number of places for a date on Saturday. Make sure you wear the "right" outfit, or expect to be criticized. But, if things go right, you just may get a kiss! Bells, whistles, kids doing cartwheels, carnival rides, you'll experience it all! No. Really. You will. Lots of brief images will be your reward. Do this often enough with the same person, and you may even end up going steady.

All of this will culminate at the Senior Prom: the highlight of your high school experience. I'd like to tell you what that's like, but you see ... I didn't actually realize I was going steady with two guys. I didn't like the other guy. He kissed me, not me him! And when he asked me about the guy I meant to go steady with, I thought I was blowing him off ... but noooooo. So, the day before the prom, my steady guy of all year breaks up with me. Apparently, this causes failure throughout my entire life, because I was never kissed at the Senior Prom. Uh, yeah.

I started a second game. Then I started a third (as a guy). Then I had my kid start it, and he's been playing it ever since ... but he's nowhere near the prom stage. There's a lot of dialogue to experience in this game; a lot of places to date; a lot of places to go on dates. You can't come close to doing it all in one go.

But, (isn't there always a but?), this is a PSP game. And I know, I shouldn't harp on it because it is a PSP title. I played through an entire school year in a little more than four hours. I spent somewhere near a third of that in load time. It was enough to drive me crazy. I turned the darned thing off several times because I was so disgusted with the constant load.

If you're a teen - a younger teen - who has a PSP, you'll probably like this game. It's witty, and the characters are done well. The music is good. The goals are fun to reach. When you start to get the hang of who is who and what they want, it's rather fun to start messing with people. Especially since, well, there are no real repercussions. It's fun to try on new personas. If you're an adult? I'm not sure this is really a game for you. The load times are long, and the payoff is ... not for adults. Brooktown High is an interesting dating simulation and reminds me that I'm glad I'm not in high school any longer.