GamersInfo.net

"Watching a bowling game is like watching fish [copulate]," said a fellow reviewer. "It's the most boring thing on earth." I must be the most boring person on the face of this earth then. Have you ever seen the courting dance of a Siamese fighting fish? I find it totally fascinating! What does this have to do with Brunswick Pro Bowling? Well, you wouldn't believe the hoops I threw myself through to review this game. I previewed it at E3 last year and was very impressed by the simulation. In the short time I had, I threw a hook, a curve and regular straight deliveries. Then I waxed poetic over it to my brother — who was a 200 average amateur bowler and bowling coach for high school students in his glory days.

"If you want it, more power to you. It's in the mail." Wheeeee! I watched the mailbox every day after that pronouncement, and I'm glad to report that neither my brother nor I were very disappointed if we look at it as a casual, fun bowling for a cold winter's night without having to brave the weather to get to the lanes rather than a strict virtual reality bowling simulation.

That said, Brunswick Pro Bowling is much better as a bowling simulation than a game. Using the D-pad, you aim right and left. Tilting the Wii-mote, you pace sideways right and left. Then you raise the Wii-mote upright, pressing the trigger (B-Button) much as you would raise your bowling ball. Concentrate and bowl. Take your three steps, swinging your arm back, release with the same speed and force you would a 14-pound bowling ball — or whatever your preferred bowling ball weight is.

You'll eventually get the hang of the feel of the Wii-mote controls and releasing the B-button or not — as not releasing the button does not affect release of ball, although releasing it at the wrong time does. Just like in real bowling, it's whether you made a good delivery. You aren't matching a cartoon's steps or actions, you are the person bowling. Your avatar is incidental. Watch him or her just for the visual cue that you've got your Wii-mote set right to deliver, and just bowl.

Here's where it all breaks down: The career game is an exercise in frustration for the person who has never bowled as well as an amateur bowler — and will probably send the pro-bowler through the roof. You start with an avatar with stats of 20 / 20 / 20 in Strength, Accuracy and Hook, and a house ball (black). What this means is that no matter how well you bowl in real life, you suck. Bowlers use colored balls with swirls as a visual aid. Did I put enough hook in that? You can't tell until you upgrade your ball, and you can't upgrade your ball until you win cash in a league tournament.

You can't use the pips and lines on the lane to accurately aim. The allowable moves are not fine enough. You're simply ... not good enough. Does your ball speed often peter out, giving you less than the control you want after the oil on the lane and your hook? Forget about it. Practicing improves your skill stats and gains reputation points, but only winning league tournaments gets you cash enough to buy better equipment, such as gloves and balls that can improve your stats. The frustration is so great and the rewards so small, we skipped most of the practice and went to League tournament to beat the Wii-generated opponent. Never again.

The casual "quick" game is much better. Here, you pick a pre-made avatar from 10 different choices, the number of players (up to four) and go for it. Except that you will all end up with the same character — John, with stats of 75 / 72 / 78 (Strength / Accuracy / Hook), or Triana, who has stats of 63 / 80 / 82 &mash; better accuracy and hook control but less strength. It can get confusing if all four of you pick the same avatar, and it can be limited in that you can only bowl a single game, not a tournament. If you do decide to do that, you'll have to keep manual score of each game.

Additional stats are Stamina and Reputation, but these stats figure only in the career mode. Stamina maintains your arm strength and control during long tournaments — an additional frustration for real bowlers in playing the career game.

The Wii control does not actually provide the level of accuracy you would hope for in a simulation game, and I don't know if it's because it's tuned for a maximum of 80 percent to 85 percent control of any one stat rather than 100 percent control. With the lack of this fine control, being able to see the Oil Patterns doesn't do much for the serious bowler. Nor does the Oil Pattern matter in single games. You will get the odd "bad-roll" now and again, which adds to the frustration factor for the real bowler but certainly cheers up the 4-year-old in the house who gets a strike now and again. He "bowls" by running up the living room with the Wii-mote clasped upright in both hands like a club, then spins around with a "Hai-ya!" I've not figured if he actually releases the B-button, but the kid can aim.

The good points about this game are the loving attention to the animation of the ball as it rolls down the lane and the crash of the pins — which sounds remarkably real. If you have the right ball, you can actually watch the proper animation. Did you bowl it straight, curve it or hook it? How much hook did you put in it? All reproduced in beautiful 3-D graphics.

Despite its shortcomings, Brunswick Pro Bowling is a family favorite and a fun party game — one I pull out when friends are over. With the Quick Mode, you can bowl a few games with friends and family and actually get some satisfaction out of it. Despite a bad roll here and there, my brother gets the satisfaction of bowling without any danger of re-injuring himself and knowing he can still bowl a solid over-200 game. If you are an amateur bowler, you might use this game for a little accuracy and aim practice. Too much play, and you'll probably ruin your real game.

I'd love to see Brunswick Pro Bowling 2, which fine-tunes the controls, allows you to pick avatars and equipment, perhaps distribute stat points, and allow multiplayer tournament games.