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I use to enjoy Nickelodeon when I was young, as many normal children outside the Dr. Evil brand growing up on the fast track to mad villainy do. Whether it's simply my age, or the sign of our times, I can't objectively look at any of the shows today and say they begin to match the quality of something like Rocko's Modern Life. Different strokes for different folks? Sure, but if I'd have to pinpoint the last good attempt at children's entertainment on the network it would have to be Sponge Bob Square Pants. With just a slight hint of wit to prevent adults from going mad as well as quirky jokes told by great actors to distract kids, the show is fit enough as any for the game treatment and has been doing so for quite some time. I can't speak about past endeavors, but I'd have to say that Sponge Bob: Atlantis SquarePantis is a lot funnier than the title implies.

While you might be thinking, "But Pashford, it is teh cashins!" Yes and no. While the game certainly wasn't made out of the kindness of a group of programmers locked in a basement for a couple months with no proper exposure to sunlight hearts, the game doesn't feel lazy. I wouldn't go into a kid's game with a dismissive attitude; that's bad form. While I had guarded expectations, as always, I soon found out that the game avoided all of the very distinguished pratfalls of not only every day games, but particularly kid's games. The game definitely doesn't feel rushed, or slap dash, and that's one concept I wish titles aimed at the younger crowd would to more often.

Atlantis Square Pantis does little to clear up the confusion about the title from the get go, as the experience is slightly retro-grade; the end-game content is presented in a nonlinear fashion, first. Hmm ... I think for a review on a children's game, I probably should have paraphrased the situation better by stating Plankton had an ice cream gun, and SpongeBob was scared. Though I can't think of a better way to begin the story of SpongeBob's journey to find Atlantis than with a crazed egomaniacal single-celled organism behind the wheel of a dominating tank with an ice cream cannon.

The game isn't a platformer as much as it is a hodgepodge of many game archetypes thrown together and shaken up. You have your platform elements, but there are free-form levels, on-rails shooter levels, first-person shooter levels, rhythm-based levels, side-scrolling scenarios and various other game formulas that have succeeded in the past 10 years. A great strength or the game is that it makes sure never to bore with repeated scenarios without added fun. Any number of things will be changed in a bright colors kind of way, and you'll always be tasked with some goofy scenario to overcome.

Going back to the ice cream cannon for a second, the introductory level does a good job painting the game's mission statement by displaying clean controls and rational level design and making sure your character isn't stuck on repeat with grating catch phrases. The theme of to subvert an underwater superpower with a menacing metallic beast that uses the powers of ice cream to thwart its enemies is nothing short of a capital idea! The tanks controls are better than most I've dealt with in other formats, and somehow, the sting is nothing short of sweet when your foes crumble beneath your relentless ice cold attacks of a playful never-ending supply of dairy product rather than an actual tank shell.

The ice cream mechanics are smart; they act on an auto-aiming mechanism, making sure none of the enemies ever have a chance while you continue your unstoppable unquenched rage of total domination. The obstacles in the level were cute, too, and would react accordingly to the ice cream mechanics by displaying signs of yummy decay when struck with scoop after scoop of fudgy nonsense. If nothing else, the ice cream cannon gave context to a rant about excellence in superior (and now existent) ice cream mechanics in this very review, and nothing seems greater than its inclusion in our now benefited English lexicon.

The other levels (unfortunately devoid of ice cream mechanics) do their job without such luxurious devices and perform adequately despite that fact. The platforming is always accompanied by the great voice work of Tom Kenny (Sponge Bob himself) and that guy from "Coach" who does Patrick. Teamwork between the characters is key, as you'll have to work your way through a labyrinth of obstacles.

The rhythm-based levels are pretty straightforward, and I was a fan of how the game poked fun at some of the nonsense in game design while keeping a seemingly straight face. The slight taste of wit aimed at adults (the people buying the game for said younglings) is present as I encountered not only said material, but a slew of great references and nods to many other famous works as well. At one point in the game, Metroid, "Star Wars," "The Good Bad and the Ugly," AND "Jaws" references all occupied a space on the screen at the same time, in all of their audio and visual glory! Needless to say, being 6-years-old wasn't a prerequisite for having this reviewer entertained by a kids' game, and I don't care to revoke my statement no matter how many of my friends start banging on my door with pitchforks and torches to cleanse the land of evil witches and their different opinions.

While the graphics do a great job of replicating the show's nice aquatic atmosphere, I forgot how springy the music felt in accordance to the overall spirit of the source material. You'll never feel more at home in a retirement home for performing arts clowns or as mischievous on the run from a group of underwater city officials than with the smooth riffs from this anonymous ukulele player.

With a legitimately fun story (with ranking and level variations), unlockable arcade games (and the ability to play those multiplayer), whether the game is strangely fun because of the vast gaming quilt of smaller gaming formulas its composed of, or how low the bar is for children's games, Atlantis Square Pantis succeeds on fun. I know I haven't really listed any negatives here, but I feel that the game did such a surprisingly good job in the field it's performing in, the negatives are just overshadowed by the fun the game can provide. The game knows what it can do, and it does it without question. I would gladly recommend Atlantis SquarePantis to any adult looking for a great alternative (and educational) children's game, without looking like a clueless uncool parent, and I'm totally sure I haven't lost my marbles.

P.S. Ice cream mechanics.

That is all.