
Guns, aliens, babes. Duke always makes sure he starts his day handling one of the three, or any unique combo thereof. Some people might begin their mornings with Folger’s in their cup. Duke usually starts his with a retaliatory mass extinction of an entire alien race. They deserve what he does to them — most of the time. Back in 1996, Duke had just busted out on the 3D scene with Duke Nukem 3D, and for a gigantic grab bag of every iconic B-movie action star and pop culture reference known to man, the experience was pleasantly fresh. The gameplay was strong, and the entertainment was absurdly fun. Now with the Xbox 360 bimonthly shooter due out to meet quota, Xbox Live Arcade gives us the port of Duke Nukem 3D to once again remind us of why it was so groovy to play in the first place.
XBLA is no stranger to ports. Some of its earliest and most routine affairs are usually within the familiar space of a game that has made itself known elsewhere for longer periods of time, Duke Nukem not withstanding. The cautionary tale of any Xbox Live port always begins with the demos for me, as I’ve been left with a bitter taste more than once for lackluster or just downright goofy attempts at updated ports (see my reviews of Double Dragon, Frogger and Defender). The Big Duke has luckily dodged a bullet in this exceedingly important detail, as Duke Nukem 3D isn’t just faithful to the source material but does well to present itself with a few more perks to sweeten the deal of this already beefy little package of gaming goodness.
The intact core game is as important as the main principle of any Duke Nukem narrative is: “Let God sort them out.” Not being able to grab a second of R&R after flying home from his last chance encounter with a bloodthirsty race of aliens, Duke finds that Los Angeles has been overrun and mutated by a new alien threat. Duke has to make sure he’s the only one who’s going to be able to catch his breath after all is said and done.
Nukem’s story has always been driven more so by the snatched quippy one-liners than any semblance of character development and enriched story arch. Anyone who hasn’t bothered to see and enjoy films like Aliens, Army of Darkness, Terminator, They Live or the vast plethora of cinema’s campiest outings has and will continue to find Duke a bit too low brow. Having said that, with enough mindless explosions, severe sexual overtones and graphic gore to make any sane activist group move en masse, Duke Nukem 3D is pretty much what you would want out of a terrific 1990s shooter — and then some.
The nostalgic factor here for me is quite potent. The graphic styling of Duke Nukem were some the most impressive visuals of their first-person shooter day (Quake DID come out months later, after all) and don’t appear as hideously dated despite confidently displaying its age. How well the transfer holds up is certainly impressive, as all of the environmental effects are vivid and gun reactions imbued with appropriate weight. Though all of the models are pixilated and not made up of fully realized 3D polygons, the locations and areas you will travel to will take full advantage of their 3D capabilities and will provide you with eye candy left and right (even outside the strip clubs).
The game was unique in its own time by possessing little quirks such as the first fully functioning mirror in a video game, as well as real-time movement on camera screens, but it also possessed much larger benefits such as intricately designed environments. Each level would be filled to the brim with secrets, references and random happenings, all throughout several elevations and destructible environments. With the ability to run, swim, teleport, tunnel and even jetpack quite steadily and fashionably through any single area, you’re constantly reminded you can get around in this game, and you can do so in any number of stylish ways.
Since the game’s fast-paced nature begs for a lot of running room, you’ll be glad to know that the level design is just as powerful as the emphasis on exploration itself — from downtown Los Angeles to a destructive romp in a part of the San Andreas fault to deep into the recesses of alien ships in space. The backdrops will always be changing, and the secret puzzles and unique level design will be present throughout.
The centers of the game focused on the alien spacecrafts will give off a nicely implemented sense of claustrophobia, while the streets of L.A. will seem open but never welcoming. Water plays a larger role later on (though not painfully), and any of the darker involvements will only be complemented by how well the lighting effects lend themselves. Duke Nukem 3D offers plenty of places to visit, with a great grasp of flow driving you to the end, and an aesthetic that parallels the feng shui of the entire structure as a whole.
I’ve only briefly mentioned one of the three ways Duke starts his day. So I think I should shift my attention to yet another vastly important element in the game, and that would be the guns. Destructible environments are only as fun as the gun you blow them up with — goes for aliens, too. The arsenal doesn’t skimp either, as you have a selection of military- and galactic-grade weaponry to choose.
From pistols and shotguns to some of the game’s more colorful tools like the Shrinker and Freezer, the game fails to disappoint when trying to find something or someone to blow the hell out of. With about a dozen weapons to choose from, the game makes sure the ammo is plentiful and the rapid bursts gorgeous. The weapon effects are on par with the game’s generally shiny upkeep as far as eye pleasing goes and will never mangle field of perception as to deter accuracy. Overall, there are fewer things more enjoyable in the game than shrinking my opponent down to “fun” size and crushing him with the almighty Duke Boot (which can be used in conjunction with any weapon to provide full-blown melee awesomeness).
The general fluidity of the game should be praised, as not only have the developers avoided the pitfalls of deteriorated console transfer as far as controls go (looking at you Nintendo 64 port), but they have gone the extra mile to make sure weapon swapping, jumping and general strafing acts as an empowerment rather than a hindrance. The game’s persistence on honed detail goes as far as to lend itself in the general gun accuracy department. The bullets have pixel precision to the extent of rewarding players who take full advantage of elevation, leading and trailing with weapons to make sure you get your respawn’s worth out of your weapon. The effort put into the versatility of the game’s engine can be felt in every small facet offered and is why the gunplay holds the game together with such an evident grandiose of fun.
An game like this holds its own with a staunch single-player experience (clocking in with four acts and plus-30 levels), but it goes a step further by taking the same solid elements and injecting them into multiplayer. Xbox Live lends itself perfectly to remind us how easy and fun it is to jump into a Duke match with up to eight people for some quick multiplayer mayhem. The online play does a great job to match a constantly smooth state of play and nixes the lag, much like the campaign keeps frame rate under control and operating in a relaxing fashion. Even with eight people present, the matches would stay rather tame and would only suffer in frame rate until the player responsible would be dropped from the match to keep continued enjoyment of that particular match.
I’m stoked about the leader boards but a bit offset by the fact that they don’t always seem to be correct. My personal stats don’t reflect what is kept on the leader board. My other complaint registered with the multiplayer would have to lie in the lack of matchmaking options. The existing choices serve only as ranked and player and do little to stifle one’s urge of personal creativity when humiliating their online foes. The individual choice of where to fight and how it will go down on terms of scale is next to nothing, and it hurts the ultimate replayability a little bit, as relying on quick match to thrust you into the online environment isn’t everyone’s cup of tea. Many might prefer a more of a voice in where and how they get shot at.
The online co-op is a wonderful addition, as it was always one of the biggest factors that drew me to this game back in the day. Co-op is a great way to spend some quality gaming time with a buddy or two, and Duke Nukem’s level design doesn’t mind accommodating for one more to be thrown into the mix. One can make the conscious decision to have eight players in one co-op match, but the inclusion feels a bit due to the “because we can” factor instead of “this is a good idea” factor. Juggling eight people in a closed area meant for two is about as unforgiving as a candy apple and readily presents itself as a difficult idea. Why someone would curse themselves with eight-player co-op in one of the levels like Overlord and turn on friendly fire only acts as a sadist of self-indulgence, which is even a step further than the boundaries this game already likes to play on.
The new feature to be included in this iteration of the game is called the Painless Death system, and it serves as a kind of rewind-time feature, with a large dash of fourth wall, breaking magic for good measure. Upon kicking the bucket, stepping off a cliff, falling directly into a manhole or a large alien role-playing game, you will be given the option to “play it back.” This allows you to go back into any spot of your previous time alive and to relive that moment maybe, a little differently, like with less death involved. The feature also is good for video swapping and leader board credibility, as clips can be watched and shared to express joy or frustration of what lies within. The system even possesses the ability to inject the viewer into the clip they’re watching and take control of the Duke they are currently enjoying. Sounds a bit trippy, but the entire system is a little mix between the theater system in Halo and the never-ending game playtime manipulation found in Braid. The incorporation doesn’t feel forced and adds a neat little twist on an already complete package, just to make the hot a little bit spicier.
Whether I have to choose from the late-night frag fests I’ve had or the co-op shenanigans of running through the game with a pal and cursing the ridiculous bosses, Duke Nukem 3D is a shooting gem from the 1990s and deserves recognition as an exceptional addition to Xbox Live, despite the already overbearing existence of shooters on the system. With kickass examples of fast-paced shooting lessons in pain on levels like the Stadium over Xbox Live or single-player humor taken to the absurd in levels like It’s Impossible, the game never failed to give me a smile.
The audience the game preaches to is obvious, but the experience is so finely crafted, more people will glaze over it for its hyper macho exterior. The game succeeds so well because of the satire implemented, and the game shouts this message loud and clear, while most others might just hear too much yelling in the first place. I’m under the impression that this stands as yet another mandatory purchase, in terms of content ratio alone, even despite how the game will cater to people of different skill levels and do it with nuance that might be overlooked by the general populace.
The ultimate irony of what Duke Nukem 3D will end up advertising will remain the guns and the babes, even though the structure they are based on deserves praise most wouldn’t bother recognizing. So, go check this game out, and make sure to @%#$ up as many aliens as you can find pieces of @%#$ to shove in their @%#$ waffle @%#$, and do it for the Duke. Rock the @%#$ on!
Thank you so much. it's really hard not to have fun writing about a game where the main protagonist makes it a priority to utilize a recently downed boss as a public toilet.
Complimentary with newspaper and all.







Wow- what a great review!!!