I have been playing games for what seems to some an eternity. I should not, or cannot, honestly say that I have seen everything that has been offered in video games. Yet, we live in a day and age in which the very things we like — movies, books, television shows and video games — are built on the ideas of yesteryear. There are times that I am greatly impressed beyond words due to unique presentation (play Ico and Beyond Good and Evil). And then there are some games that should work perfectly, but everything just falls apart for any number of reasons (see Unlimited Saga). So when I found a copy of Viewtiful Joe at my local Game Stop, I figured I would give it a whirl.

Viewtiful Joe is about a guy and his girlfriend going to the movies to enjoy one of those crappy B-movies surrounding a fictional character called Captain Blue. Sylvia (the girlfriend) tries to make her move on him and then suddenly gets sucked into the movie-verse to become a human sacrifice. And now it is Joe’s (our “illustrious” hero) job to save the day and get the girl back. Yes, the game really is that cliché.

Thus, the game feels like a B-movie on a 2D plane. The reels — you know, the part of the film that has the dashed holes — are seen on the top and bottom on the screen during cutscenes and power usage. The dialogue is cheesy and difficult to understand at times (since there are NO subtitles).

Graphically, the game is amazing. It is a cel-shaded powerhouse. Everything is animated well, and each area has a unique feel, though it may not always make sense (how does a cityscape goes into a cellar and then crypt? Or having a giant motorcycle-riding lizard in a top office of a corporate building?). However, when the action is intense, everything tends to blur together into one big mass. On the bright side, load times are short.

Control wise, the game is tight. Joe responds quickly and accurately. Combat is, to put it nicely, simple. There only two attack buttons to worry about: punch and kick. The problem is that there are no combos — no matter how simple. Joe just keeps whacking away at a foe until it is defeated. On the bright side, Joe has the power to slow down, zoom in and speed up time. Each of these powers uses VFX power, which is represented by a blue bar on the top part of the screen. This is expanded by tediously searching through every nook and cranny for V-films. Collect 50, and his VFX bar expands. Draining his VFX bar completely forces Joe to revert back to normal, rendering his attacks less useful and unable to use his powers. And you will need virtually every ounce of those powers as the game rates you for how well you play. The better you play, the more V-Points you earn (more on that in a bit).

Each of Joe’s powers have different purposes. Slowing down time is useful for causing major damage (zooming increases the damage as well), causing flying fans to “crash” and dodging the majority of attacks, while speed up is only useful for opening chests in the background, causing things to set on fire and running short distances in a short period of time. Zooming in also has a use because it is the only way for Joe to perform a circular kick attack. The puzzles in this game all revolve around using those powers to solve “puzzles.” For example, to open a door, slowing down time allows the weak voltage to become amplified so the two split wires make a connection. Unfortunately, you’ll be fighting the same eight or nine enemies over and over again. Whether you like them or not. That means on each level you will fight that annoying gun-toting bandit (and his slot machine). It makes the game feel older than it should as it was a [bad] habit of the 1980s and 1990s games.

Furthermore, Joe can power up his abilities by spending his V-Points on different power-ups, such as increasing the number of “clones” for his super speed, extra health that extends his life bar, extra lives, bombs, boomerangs and other helpful items. And you will need each and every one of them at one point or another, because this game is hard. Old-school hard — like something rising from the grave that you just keep hitting with a lance hard. This unrelenting difficulty mars a great game by dwindling its fan base to the hardcore.

Also, there is no multiplayer. Having read the old review on this Web site for the game, it is easy to understand why Pac-man thinks there should be: We have played a variation of this game before. We feel like there should be multiplayer because it plays like the old beat-’em ups of our youth. It probably would not be too difficult to create multiplayer by splitting the powers evenly between the two and adding a splitscreen when necessary. If someone were to play this game and then play Final Fight, I do not think many people would notice too big a difference other than the length of the field, graphics and platforming.

Sound wise, the game is just as cheesy. Prepare yourself to hear the same tired songs over and over again. It is not truly bad nor is it particularly good. The voice acting is just as mixed. With Joe, you’ll hear “Henshin-a-go-go baby!” every time his VFX bar is fully drained. (If only I could mute his voice.) Sylvia fares much better, but you’ll hear her say “Just go for it!” for every single challenge (which is about every 5 to 15 minutes). It all becomes annoying far too quickly because the game takes itself far too seriously. The voice actors just do not seem to be having any fun with the script, no matter how funny the script is at that moment. It just feels flat. And this is supposed to be satire on gaming conventions.

Overall, Viewtiful Joe is a difficult game to recommend. On the one hand, there is some unique platforming along with the unique visuals. On the other is the simple gameplay and horrendous difficulty. I was fortunate enough to find this for about $3, which is a great deal for this game. If I paid any more, I think I would dislike this game a little bit more. For those brave enough to take a chance on it, you will find a very solid game underneath all the silliness. In other words, it is a B-movie game that is of B quality. If you can find it, rent it to discover if it is your cup of tea. If it is, prepare for some hardcore frustration and fun.