I hate horror games. I hate how you're just walking down a narrow hallway and it's freaky. I despise horror games like I despise casual games ('cept Peggle, of course). Good thing Left 4 Dead isn't a horror game, eh?

Left 4 Dead is sold and marketed as a horror game. It is said to be a horror game. This is, in fact, untrue. Sure, there are some surprising moments, such as when I'm aiming at a smoker and a hunter leaps at me and scares me for half of a millisecond, but aside from that, it's not shocking or horrifying. That's not to be said there's no gore — there is, in fact, a lot of blood. You get to explode the heads of zombies very often. Their limbs can be torn off. Yet, for some reason, it isn't scary — unless you're a 5-year-old girl who tends to enjoy Barbie and unicorns and all things fluffy. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

Left 4 Dead is purely a multiplayer game, along with a single-player mode that is almost exactly the same, only with bots. Each play session consists of playing one "campaign" with three other survivors, for a total of four team members. Each campaign has five levels. They're almost all the same — the beginning level, three regular levels and a finale. The first level is the shortest, and the fourth is usually the most difficult. Finales are "survival" levels, in which you have to survive for a certain amount of time as a rescue vehicle rushes toward you.

There are seven types of infected in Left 4 Dead. The first is the common infected — those that are weak alone but strong in numbers. Then there's the boomer — a fat, slow-moving special infected that barfs on the survivors. This temporarily obscures their vision and brings forth a horde. The second "special infected" is the smoker. The smoker has a very long tongue that he can shoot out and wrap around a survivor. When the survivor is constricted, he cannot do anything, and his teammates have to save him. The third is the hunter. The hunter is much different from the smoker and boomer. Unlike the smoker and boomer, the hunter makes no sound if he’s not crouching. His primary attack is crouching for about a second and then leaping at the survivors. When he lands on one, he pushes them on the ground and starts tearing their insides out (well, not really ... he's just clawing). This, as well as the smoker's attack, renders survivors helpless. The fourth "special infected" is the tank. The tank is much different from his smaller peers in terms of size and rarity. The tank has a bit of an obsession with weightlifting. He simply can't stop. This has caused him to become a, well, tank. He has huge amounts of health. His primary attack is a punch that can send survivors flying. His secondary attack is to throw a large rock at them. The tank only arrives rarely — up to once per map. During the finales, there is a 100 percent chance that he will arrive twice. The final special infected is the most emo girl you'll ever meet. She simply sits on the ground, crying, until someone comes near. She then rushes toward them with huge claws, ready to tear out their organs. She has a lot of health but not as much as the tank. I personally love the witch, since she's the easiest to kill — if you know how.

There are three modes of gameplay in Left 4 Dead (soon to be four with the survival pack coming out April 21): versus, campaign and single player. My personal favorite is versus. In versus, players team up against each other. One team is the survivors, and the other team is the infected. This adds up to eight players total. Normally, there's one boomer, two hunters and a smoker. Depending on the amount of players on the infected team, there is a higher or lower spawn time. I personally love playing as the hunter, since I can find discreet locations to jump out and, as they say, "own them." In versus, players can play as the tank — though I am awful playing this character — but cannot be the witch.

Left 4 Dead uses the Source Engine. Source was developed by Valve for Half-Life 2. It has been used in Team Fortress 2, Counter-Strike: Source, Half-Life: Source and individual episodes of Half-Life 2. Source also has been used by third-party developer Arkane Studios in the game Dark Messiah and in the upcoming indie game Zeno Clash.

The graphics are Source Engine standard — brilliant. Facial animations are amazing, though zombies sometimes seem to want to express themselves after death. The maps have astounding detail. As a mapper myself, I know how long it takes to get a decent amount of detail and then find out you have 5,000 bugs — all waiting to be fixed. As usual in most games, it's possible to set the graphics quality. I absolutely love high detail. Shaders are beautiful, so you don't want to miss out on that shiny action on the blood for too long! It also has incredible optimization — a $35 graphics card can run it fine on medium. And yes, I have a $35 graphics card.

There is an interesting system of gun "upgrades" in Left 4 Dead. When players start a campaign, they have the choice of an Uzi or a pump shotgun, as well as a medpack and a pistol. These are the Tier 1 weapons. My personal favorite is the Uzi at this point. As you get further into the campaigns, eventually you’ll find Tier 2 weapons — the auto-shotgun, M16, dual pistols and the hunting rifle. Personally, I love using the hunting rifle — especially when enemy hunters are dumb enough to stand on buildings they're about to leap off. Ah, headshots.

I hate only a few things, and the one I hate most is griefers. All games are plagued by them — gamers who feel it's their duty to pick on and infuriate people mad via the Internet. In Left 4 Dead, griefers find fun ways to torture me as I cry and beg them to leave me alone. I especially hate them on expert mode — one shot with almost anything and BAM, I'm soon dead. Plus, there are the subtle griefers. These "accidentally" claw you as a smoker so you release your victim. They "accidentally" push you out into the open as a boomer. It’s definitely poor sportsmanship and makes a game less fun.

Back to the game, rather than simply making players die after losing all their health, players have "second chances." Once you lose all your health, you fall to the ground. No guns may be used, aside from the pistol. You have 300 "incapacitation health." You cannot move. The only way to get back on your feet is if a teammate takes five seconds or so to revive you. If you get incapacitated three times, however, you go "black and white." If you get incapacitated while black and white, you die. Game over.

If a player dies during campaign mode, they'll eventually respawn in a closet. However, they're stuck. Their teammates must open the closet to save them. This doesn't happen on versus. Oh, and did I mention you go back to the Tier 1 weapons?

All in all, Left 4 Dead is an incredibly fun game. I love it. I constantly play versus (though I hate campaign) for hours on end. It's just such a fun and addictive game. I cannot stop. It’s well worth the 5–7 gigabytes on your hard drive.