Here's the thing: I have had Peggle on two of my mobile phones, my computer and now it is on my Xbox 360. I love it, but it is no ordinary kind of love. It is a time-suck kind of love. I sit down to play and then find myself half-comatose several hours later with atrophied muscles and five o'clock shadow. Okay, maybe not the beard stubble, unless the game causes hormonal imbalances I am not aware of yet, but my time rapidly disappears while I play the game. It won't let me go! I can hear it whispering, "Come on baby, just one more level. You knows I loves you." Who can say no to that?! I'm a heartbeat away from getting all of my nourishment intravenously so I don't ever have to step away from the television again.

I would feel better telling you all of this if I could properly explain the appeal of the game, but I can't. It is seemingly unremarkable. The basic premise is so simple it's almost embarrassing. Peggle is a bit like pachinko (that game where you drop a ball down a series of pegs) on steroids. You shoot a ball at some pegs and the pegs you hit disappear. It's your job to clear the orange pegs from the screen. The end.

See? That doesn't even sound like a good time, but I find it to be totally amazing. It soothes/numbs/encompasses my soul for hours at a time. It's a Zen experience, only a thousand times better than dragging a fork through some sand and rearranging rocks.

Use the analog stick to aim and the "A" button to shoot - just line it up and fire it off. It's nice and easy. Once you shoot the ball, enjoy watching it slowly, mesmerizingly bounce from peg to peg. Gaze at it. Drift away. So peaceful. So nice. It makes me feel like a cat napping in a sunbeam. Or a puppy transfixed by the shining red dot of a laser pointer. When you finish a level, rainbows gleam and music sounds. If only real life made success feel this easy and good.

You know, PopCap could easily hypnotize a lot of people with this game. I smell a mind control conspiracy on the horizon. Can't you see it now? Millions of people wandering around in a daze, muttering something about orange glowing pegs and dancing like chickens. Awesome.

Technically there is a little more going on than just shooting a ball at some pegs, I suppose. There are pretty colors. Music. You're trained by Peggle masters (all very cute, cartoony, colorful creatures), and slowly progress from level to level by overcoming new challenges and acquiring an array of special bonuses. You have a limited numbers of balls to shoot, but you can earn extra balls, balls with special abilities and even balls with a trajectory predictor to help you navigate through the game. There are a lot of balls.

Certain pegs are more important than others. Blue pegs don't do much to boost your score, but pink ones give you an extra point bonus. The orange pegs all have to be eliminated if you want to win a level. Green ones give you special abilities. Completely clear the level of all pegs and you're rewarded with hefty bonus points.

If you are the competitive type, you can choose from a number of different game play modes. My personal favorite is the basic adventure mode, where you simply progress through the 55 levels. Quickplay allows you to pick any single level to tackle. Master Dual challenges you to go head to head with an AI character (one of the Peggle masters with whom you trained), alternating shots to try and outscore one another. There are also multiplayer options; Xbox Live Duel, Same Console Duel and Peg Party. Live Duel is exactly the same as Master Duel in single player mode, except you compete against a real, live online player. Same Console Duel allows you to battle someone in your own living room. Peg Party pits you against upwards of four players and the host chooses both the levels and the number of shots per player. There is a ton of fun to be had.

Peggle is (secretly) one of my favorite games and the XBLA version did not disappoint. If you haven't tried it yet, you are definitely missing out. It provides hours upon hours of calming entertainment. If you don't have a lot of spare time to invest in video games, you can easily jump in and play a level in less than fifteen minutes. Well, not *that* easily. Just one more level and then I'm done, I swear ...

If you happen to live in the greater Los Angeles area and start to smell something funny next door, please come in and turn me. I probably developed pressure sores from playing on the couch 24/7.