I play games. My children play games. My wife plays a game called E-Bay and home improvement. Now, I work in the world of computer based games, but I believe that all games can make important contributions to our lives. Some lessons are simple, such as there is no winning in tic-tac-toe unless you play someone who hasn't already learned that lesson. Some are complex and filled with shades of gray: Mortgaging all your other properties to put hotels on Boardwalk is a risk, but is it worth it? These lessons taught by gaming lead to useful skills that can be applied in all areas of life.

Many people accept that team sports, one type of game, are useful in teaching teamwork, perseverance, practice leads to improvement, and cooperation skills. It is also widely accepted that chess teaches concentration, forecasting, and complex consequence awareness. These same activities have downsides as well. They involve real or simulated violence, sportsmanship can be lost to victory-is-most-important, and discrimination against women is historically common and still accepted as reasonable. Even with the negative lessons that can be learned, I believe that on the whole involvement with team sports and chess is important and positive. I also believe that parental involvement in both to provide guidance to the positive lessons and context for the negative is essential.

Computer based games cover much of the same lessons that other games do, but because interacting with the game has historically been single-player centric, it has been limited in the lessons about human relationships that players learn well in other forms of gaming. That is now changing very rapidly. Console games are often multi-player, with the connection to the Internet leading to even more interaction with other people. Online computer gaming, whether small team-based, or massively multi-player persistent, has become extremely popular and creates the opportunity for all of the pluses and minuses of other traditional games. Just as with team sports and chess, parental guidance is essential in computer based gaming.

One of the lessons that I've learned through playing and making persistent worlds has been that people come to an activity with many different expectations and values. This seems obvious to me now, but prior to this realization, I thought that others played games for the same reasons that I did. Some people do, but they are always in the minority, because the world is so large and people have learned so many different ways of thinking before coming to the game.

I recently read an editorial about a very popular persistent world game teaching the 'wrong' lessons. As a parent, I was ready to jump on the bandwagon and condemn the game for reinforcing that might-makes-right and destruction is the only possible form of entertainment. But, I was surprised when the author ignored those issues and instead condemned the game for not being fair. I've lived many places around the world and in that time I've learned that the United States' idea of fairness is not a universally accepted truth. Maybe it should be, I'm idealistic enough to want it to be, but it is currently not accepted. We are brought up on a mix of heroes meting out justice and fairy tale endings. If you play fair, you'll win in the end. The world doesn't work that way, and the rest of the world knows it. It is perhaps why we in the States find a great appeal in games that are built upon the premise that all participants are equal in what is available to them, but differ in how they choose to play. Poker is deemed to be a fair game, since all participants have the same opportunity to win before the hands are dealt. It is why there is such a strong response to cheating. Cheating takes the fairness out of it.

In my household, we've just begun family game nights. We pick one game, and then all sit down together and play. It is difficult with the pressures of work and the dozens of schools activities that pull at the children's time. But we've realized that it is important for our children's growth and our growth as a family. The games facilitate conversation. They are a social centerpiece that brings up topics from our children that we might not otherwise broach. Risk raised the questions “Why can't we all be friends?” and “Why is it ok to take other people's land?”. Monopoly has generated many discussions about money, rent, ownership and lending.

Not all of the lessons are mental. One of the games we've chosen uses the Dance Dance Revolution game pad, and gets us all up on our feet, dancing (or at least thrashing about in a vain attempt to get my feet to actually go where I want them). Unlike some of the mental games such as chess, this game allows the children to often be the victors, showing that age, knowledge, experience and size are not always the deciding factors in success. It has also helped me lose 25 pounds since New Years.

I've read a variety of opinions on the impact of playing electronic games upon children, some of those opinions propped up with studies showing adverse consequences. I'm certain that there are many activities that can lead to antisocial behaviours, violence toward others, and sexual objectification of women, but electronic games, like other great forms of entertainment and other traditionally accepted games, provide far more benefits than they create problems. If parents live up to their responsibilities as parents, and guide their children's education and learning through all the forms of entertainment available, then games can be a great tool in providing clear, easy to understand and in-context lessons for your children. And you might find yourself learning new skills, making new friends, and challenging your mind as a consequence.

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